With each year that passed and with each person who came in and out of my life I began to learn the right way of things. Or let’s just say the decent way of doing things. You never really let go of some of those qualities you might have been raised with but you learned that there is a time and place for them. Some memories you tuck away in the deepest darkest parts of your brain until you almost forget they are there. Trust me, just leave them there!  No need to rise the devil if it benefits nothing.

So anyway, as I got older I became aware of some of life’s lessons. Here is what I gathered. Now don’t go getting all pissy, this is just my take on it all. If your life is different, then good for you.

I’ve gathered that……

Not many people appreciate the things you do for them and more times than not, they never will. There are so many selfish people in the world and if things don’t benefit them then they want no part of it.

You can’t keep helping someone with their mistakes and problems or they will continue to make them without a second thought of what the consequences are going to be. Simply because, there never were any.

You are no more important than the next person. If someone treats one person like shit then they will eventually get to treating you that way. It’s a continuous cycle, duh!

Despite what most of you may think, blood is most certainly NOT thicker than water! (I can tell you some stories that will without question validate that).

I can continue this for hours but as I’m writing this, the most important lesson of them all keeps tapping away at me. NO ONE  is ever really fucking listening.

So with that said…. until next time!

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I’m not who I once was, and every now and then, I miss her. But I love the woman I have become for my daughters.

My only hope is that they are growin…

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In the moment, I take a mental picture of the way you look at me..of the placement of your hands and how they cup the small of my back.

I take a mental picture of the way your chin leads to your lips. The way your lips weave up to your nos…

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I dreamt about you today and although it was great to see you, it made me sad because there are some people whose absence doesn’t just leave silence, it changes the sound of the world around the people who cherish them.

You were one of those people.

You weren’t just my friend. You were my best-friend . My safe place. The one I couldn’t wait to tell things to. The one who could make me laugh when life felt heavy. Losing you doesn’t feel real. It feels cruel.

You spent your life working toward retirement. You did everything right. You put in the years, made the sacrifices, and waited patiently for the chapter where life was finally supposed to slow down and become beautiful.

And then cancer stole it from you.

I keep thinking about the life we were supposed to watch unfold. In another universe, we’re celebrating your retirement. We’re booking another trip to Puerto Rico because somehow it became our tradition. We’re sitting by the water, arguing over where to eat, laughing at absolutely nothing, and making memories that would have lasted the rest of our lives.

Instead, I’m standing here trying to figure out how a world that still exists can feel like it’s being emptied. You said old, wheelchairs, and canes.

The hardest part isn’t just missing you. It’s mourning the future that was stolen from you… and from all of us. All of the people whose life you entered that now consider you family. You were supposed to grow old. You were supposed to have stories from retirement. You were supposed to complain about the heat and tell me I was overpacking. You were supposed to still be here.

The truth is, you didn’t just leave behind heartbroken people. You left behind pieces of yourself in all of us. That’s why this hurts so much. That’s why the grief feels unbearable. Because someone as good as you doesn’t leave without taking a piece of our hearts with them.

I hope wherever you are, you’ve found the paradise this world never got the chance to give you. And if there really is another universe, I hope you’re there waiting for me with your retirement plans, a smile on your face, and plane tickets to Puerto Rico already booked.

I miss you in ways I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain. I love you, my friend. See you!

He’d dodged taxis in Times Square, stolen French fries in Central Park, and survived more subway wind gusts than he could count. His lungs had marinated in exhaust fumes, construction dust, cigarette smoke, and whatever mysterious cloud drifted out of the sewer grates every Tuesday afternoon.

To Pete, that was just… air.

You breathed it and sometimes coughed but you kept flying.

Until one unforgettable day.

The sky had turned a strange orange. The humans wore masks. Even the pigeons stayed quiet.

Pete, being Pete, ignored every warning and strutted right into the thickest cloud he could find.

Big mistake.

His chest tightened. His wings felt heavy. The world spun like a merry go round.

That’s when a firefighter named Steve scooped him up.

“Hang in there, little guy,” Steve said.

Pete barely heard him.

Then Steve placed an oxygen mask over Pete’s beak.

One breath. Two breaths. Three…

Pete’s eyes grew wide. THIS…

The city re-appeared & the burning vanished.

His lungs opened for what felt like the very first time.

The air tasted… clean. It was magical. It was glorious.

It was the greatest thing Pete had ever inhaled.

Steve smiled, set Pete safely on a nearby ledge, and rushed off to help others.

Pete watched him disappear into the smokey haze.

“Wait!” Pete squawked.

“What… was… THAT?”

Steve never heard him.

By the time Pete caught his breath, the firefighter was gone.

From that day on, nothing was the same.

“You ever breathe the really good stuff?” Pete whispered to the other pigeons.

“The… what?” they asked.

“The invisible stuff.”

…Air?”

“No,” Pete said, shaking his head.

“Better.”

“I met a human named Steve.”

“He gave me something called… oxygen.”

The flock burst into laughter.

“Oxygen?” one pigeon giggled.

“We’ve been breathing air our whole lives!”

Pete looked at them with complete seriousness.

“No. You’ve been breathing New York.”

“And trust me…”

“…there’s a difference.”

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